azzandra:

fleshwater:

matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:

samcoxramblings:

agentsex:

aelfswithe:

cooltrees:

me: all our teeth fall out as children and then they all grow back stronger

alien: okay, i mean…that definitely sounds fake, but….okay.

We have extra organs we don’t need anymore, and sometimes they explode, and we have to cut them out.

Our babies have heads that are bigger than the birth canal. Sometimes the baby gets stuck inside, so we cut the mother open so that they don’t both die. 

Some of us can bleed for five days and not die

Some of us are born with both sets of genitals.

Sometimes two to four of us are born at the same time and we look exactly alike

At some point, the aliens aren’t going to know anymore when we’re actually trolling them.

Us: Under certain circumstances, humans have been known to spontaneously develop the ability to breathe fire.

Alien: yeah, okay, that fits in with the other wacky bullshit you guys can do.