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ALEXANDER HAMILTON

swanjolras-archive:

okay.

let’s talk about alexander hamilton.

  • gosh, the united states doesn’t have the government i want. how do i fix this? what if i wrote an 85-part “anonymous” essay in the newspaper
  • gosh, i don’t like the president. how do i fix this? what if i wrote a 15-part open letter in the newspaper
  • gosh, my Nemesis found out about that time i accidentally fucked a woman not my wife who was only doing it to blackmail me. how do i fix this? what if i wrote a 95-page pamphlet and published it in

(side note: what the fuck, hamilton)

  • gosh, george fucking washington is not promoting me fast enough. what if i purposefully pissed him off to End Our Friendship Forever
  • gosh, my home was just hit by a hUGE FUCKING HURRICANE. what if i used this opportunity to write a poem about it so people give me Lots Of Money Forever
  • gosh, president john adams doesn’t love me as much as washington did. what if i got all of his cabinet members to give me dirt on him that i then published in a 15-part open letter in the newspaper so he can’t get reelected, despite the fact that he is a mEMBER OF MY PARTY

(side note: WHAT THE FUCK, HAMILTON)

  • GOSH, I’M NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY, WHAT IF I THREATENED TO FIGHT THE ENTIRE FUCKING DEMOCRATIC-REPUBLICAN PARTY

side note: whAT THE Fokay you know what i give up. i fucking give up, alexander hamilton, you useless twit of a brilliant handsome probably bisexual sharp-tongued eloquent abolitionist immigrant new yorker, i cannot sort you into a hogwarts house. please never, ever, ever attend hogwarts.

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