let’s talk about alexander hamilton.
- gosh, the united states doesn’t have the government i want. how do i fix this? what if i wrote an 85-part “anonymous” essay in the newspaper
- gosh, i don’t like the president. how do i fix this? what if i wrote a 15-part open letter in the newspaper
- gosh, my Nemesis found out about that time i accidentally fucked a woman not my wife who was only doing it to blackmail me. how do i fix this? what if i wrote a 95-page pamphlet and published it in
(side note: what the fuck, hamilton)
- gosh, george fucking washington is not promoting me fast enough. what if i purposefully pissed him off to End Our Friendship Forever
- gosh, my home was just hit by a hUGE FUCKING HURRICANE. what if i used this opportunity to write a poem about it so people give me Lots Of Money Forever
- gosh, president john adams doesn’t love me as much as washington did. what if i got all of his cabinet members to give me dirt on him that i then published in a 15-part open letter in the newspaper so he can’t get reelected, despite the fact that he is a mEMBER OF MY PARTY
(side note: WHAT THE FUCK, HAMILTON)
- GOSH, I’M NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY, WHAT IF I THREATENED TO FIGHT THE ENTIRE FUCKING DEMOCRATIC-REPUBLICAN PARTY
side note: whAT THE Fokay you know what i give up. i fucking give up, alexander hamilton, you useless twit of a brilliant handsome probably bisexual sharp-tongued eloquent abolitionist immigrant new yorker, i cannot sort you into a hogwarts house. please never, ever, ever attend hogwarts.